The Guy Who Stopped Appreciating The Girl He Loves

It’s not the thought that counts.

You thought it’s enough to think it. You thought it’s enough that deep down, you love her.

You thought that being enigmatic was an excuse to stop appreciating her – so you let your past, your pride, your demons, your selfishness, the fact that you’re weak or scared, be a validation for why you stopped fighting for it, making an effort for it.

But this is the girl who you need to appreciate.

Give her your time, all your love, take her on a crazy adventure. Hold her hand, teach her something new. Kiss her face a million times, take her somewhere she’s always wanted to go, dance with her cheek to cheek, spoil her, make her feel special every day.

This is the girl who has changed your life, who has made you a better man. This is the girl who loves all your wrongness, all those parts of you that you hate. The girl who wipes your tears when you speak about your dad, who kisses your edges, who loves all your roughness. Those parts of yourself that you only show to her, she adores them – her love warms them, your imperfections, it changes you.

This is the girl you need to appreciate because you know in your heart you will never give all of you like that to anyone else; no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion.

A true connection is once in a lifetime.

Extraordinary love is rare, it means something. You need to fight for it, make an effort for it. You think choice means something. You think easiness is good. You think the more chances you have, the better. But, trust me when I say that she is in your heart. Your roots have entwined together, she looks at you as if you’re magic. You might think there’s something better – but it’s all an illusion, it’s all bullshit – that’s just your ego talking.

This love is extraordinary, you think you want it easy; calm seas and smooth sailing. But the girl you fell for is opinionated and smart, who doesn’t always agree. She is difficult, she requires effort; it will be a challenge, work – but the easy girl will never satisfy you. She will be sweet but uninspiring. She will always leave you wanting more.

Dating her is not the end of your liberty – it’s the beginning of it.

She argues with you because she cares. She craves more from you – she has opinions and big dreams for the future. She never lets you get away with slacking on your talents, and no matter how much she loves you, eventually she will leave if you stop putting in effort.

Because she knows what you have, and she will never put up with not getting everything she deserves.

Don’t risk losing the best thing you ever had.

Whatever you do, don’t let her get away. It may be difficult at times – she’ll drive you crazy, she’ll frustrate the hell out of you. But she will never leave you uninspired or unsatisfied. Although she will leave if you keep taking advantage of her.

You think that no matter what you do, she will always be there because she loves you. But remember that you fell for the girl who isn’t easy — as in, she won’t just “go with the flow.” She knows her worth. She is the girl who will not settle for someone who doesn’t put her first.

You have a love that builds, that makes your soul alive. Don’t let this love get discarded for the next hit. Don’t lose this love because of your pride, fears, ego or selfish ways. Because someone will value how special she is – someone will put in the effort it takes to be with her.

Wake up and realize she’s worth fighting for. Because if you don’t, you are the one who will suffer the most.

(By Anna Bashedly)
(The Artelier)



Choosing to leave

There comes a point in one’s life where there are difficult choices that need to be made, unfortunately this choice is one I never imagined making.

The time has come for me to decide, should I stay or should I go…

By the looks of it, the odds are definitely against me, there’s nothing here for me anymore. We have been through so much, so much pain was caused. It’s sad to say that there is very little memories that could actually make you smile.

“Dont go, please don’t go. The only thing keeping me going is our marriage. You mean the world to me, baby I love you. One more chance, that’s all I ask, just one more” he said.

After all the chances, making up excuses for him, lying to his family about his whereabouts, allowing him to be a monster and when I’m finally done he asks for another chance?

He doesn’t care about me, about us. He went to rehab and made it seem like this marriage was motivation for him getting better but a week of being out its back to square one. I built up the strength so I could try to overcome everything his put me through, the pain, emotional abuse, mental abuse but staying has just made me a no better than him.

The decision is mine and I choose to leave this unfriendly, toxic, abusive relationship. I’m so tired of bending over backwards to be a good wife to a terrible husband.

This disease has consumed his very existence, I don’t recognise him anymore. It’s amazing how the ones we would take a bullet for are usually the people ready to pull the trigger.

I’ve been there, helping him through the drunken nights of excessive vomitting, making sure his okay after a drugged evening, waiting at his hand and foot, supported him, trusted him, believed him and through it all, it was still not enough…

He needs help and I need to be happy!

Eyes wide shut

Not many people understand why things happen the way that they do but after a few years of fighting a losing battle with myself, I have come to the realization that everything happens the way that its supposed to and that God has a path he wants you to take but only you can decide whether you want to take it or not.

It all began when I was very young but it seems like I never really got over any of it but when I met this amazing man who said he would never harm me and vouched to protect me, I felt at peace and knew that my past would not come back to haunt me like it did when he wasn’t in my life.

I found it hard to express my full emotions to him but slowly I managed to open up and told him everything. As I suspected, he was in awe, he actually, for the first time, did not know how to act around me so I stepped back and watched it all fall apart. Years went by and it was an off and on relationship for at least 5 years.

One day he came to me and said that things would be okay, that I would be safe and away from harm and he would never let anything happen to me ever again. With a sigh of relief I began to smile again. We had the time of our lives, did everything together, went everywhere together, I felt the love that I longed for.

A few more years went by and he asked me to marry him, I was flabbergasted, this beautiful human being wants to marry me, he actually wants to make me his wife! Without hesitation, I said yes.

As we went on planning our big day, so much went wrong. Within a space of a few months, things started going downhill. The fighting, crying, break ups and make ups, verbal and emotional abuse, it was unbearable and that’s when I started wondering if it was worth pursuing a marriage with the man I met 8 years ago?

I wondered daily but as the strong couple I knew we were, we got through it and a year after he proposed, we were married. Little did I know that it would all go horribly wrong from here on out. Soon after I realized that I was in love with a monster, a drug addicted alcoholic of a man he also began to show me the true meaning of being alone, unprotected and afraid.

The man who cried on our wedding day just by watching me walk down the isle, the man who swore he would never put me in harm’s way, the man who I trusted with my very life has now become the man I am so afraid of, the man who brings me more harm that good, the man who makes me cry everyday without a care in the world.

Those feelings I had before I met him are the very feelings I have now after marrying the man I though was my knight in shining armor. Its only been 10 months into this marriage and when I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize the person I’ve become. I have no emotion, no smile, no energy to love and no hope.

I have been left alone for days in our home, slept in a bed with a man who I no longer have a connection with, moved out of our room just to have somewhat of a peaceful sleep, cried on my knees begging for it to stop.

The drugs have destroyed us, the nights when I wake up to find him smoking the crack, the nights when I sit up wondering if his dead or alive, the late night phone calls I get from friends to inform me of his drunken state, the early mornings when he comes home vomiting out of control due to the combination of drugs and alcohol. I can’t be strong anymore, the man I thought would have my heart forever is the same man whose losing me emotionally and even though he is well aware of whats become of us, he continues purely because the drugs have consumes his mind.

It’s sad to say but I fell in love with the man whose only reason for living was to destroy whats left of my very existence. I now realize that I took the path God didn’t want me to…

Life of an addicts wife

As I lay in bed with tears falling down my face and thoughts running through my head I wonder if I’ll ever be happy. His turned my life upside down, the thought of coming home after work and facing it for another day has shattered me.

The lies, empty promises, vindictiveness, it’s all gotten to much. The reality kicked in when I moved out of the main bedroom into the spare room and waking up at 02h30 to find the light on with the pipe in his mouth, eyes wide open and no emotion left. It’s as if I was looking the devil right in the face.

His been to rehab, it hasn’t helped. I’ve supported him, it made him worse. I sometimes wonder if I’m the reason and then one day, in his drunk and high state he looks at me, telling me that I’m one of the reasons his doing this so I back off hoping that he will change but nothing! EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES!

Divorce is constantly on my mind and I all feel is anger and hate! I’ve lived this life before, my father was a dealer. I’ve been exposed to it all, I was suicidal, abusive, angry at the world and filled with hate and he knew this, never did think I’d go the rest of my life living this way. I’m back where I started, I’m feeling the same way I worked so hard to get out of. Will it ever change? Will I ever be happy again?

Maybe I’ve fallen for a man whose soul no longer belongs to him and I know I can’t leave because he has no one and overdose is a strong possibility, so I stay, losing a little bit of myself every day…